A while back, I was feeling quite sick for about a week and sleepless for most of it. It wasn’t a life-threatening situation, but I was definitely getting worse. Eventually, my relative decided to drive me to the Emergency Room.

Later, my grandmother joined me at the ER. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see her, as most of our interactions often feel like “lectures.” She immediately started telling me that my packed schedule made me prone to sickness (BS, by the way) and went on about how I should have taken better care of myself.

I was already drained from a week of restless nights and overall discomfort. I said, “Could we not do this right now? I’m exhausted.” But that only seemed to fuel her. She began criticizing me for being too sensitive, for not listening to her earlier, and even for causing trouble by needing to be driven to the hospital.

I was already feeling terrible about myself, and her words just made it worse. I was so exhausted that I couldn’t hold back my tears and started silently sobbing.

After my doctor’s appointment, I underwent a couple of medical tests. My grandmother led the way, carrying my backpack, helped sort out all the paperwork, and called me when it was my turn.

Eventually, I was prescribed some medication, which came in the form of an oral spray. It was my first time using something like that, and it felt a little strange. I had to hold a tube in my mouth for 10 minutes until the bottle was empty. After about five minutes, I grew tired and had to support my head with my hands.

Immediately, my grandmother noticed and came over to hold the tube for me. It was a strange mix of emotions—I was still a little annoyed at her earlier lectures, yet at the same time, I felt cared for in this vulnerable moment. I thought to myself, “So, is this love?”

Growing up in an Asian household, I’ve noticed that words of affirmation are often scarce. There’s an abundance of criticism and feedback, yet the love is still present—expressed through actions rather than kind words. It’s a unique dynamic that has taught me to look beyond the surface and appreciate the care that lies beneath the tough exterior.